The Lenten Journey

Day 37:  Reflecting

I am a day behind from traveling but as I have traveled I have thought of my Lenten Journey.  It has ended up being totally different from what I had anticipated.  I was – in truth – wanting to do something “big” - not just chocolate and I like my glass of wine that the doctor says is good for my cholesterol.  What God is showing me is that He is bigger, better, more wonderful than I can imagine and not to be manipulated by me.  He wants me to answer:   What would happen in my life if the information in my head so penetrated my heart that I accepted all that Jesus has done for me, all that God has planned for me and all that the Spirit is ready to empower me to do?  What if I took the word “Hurry” out of my vocabulary and went about my daily life in a spirit of peace?  What would happen if I  allowed the Holy Spirit to guide me as He knows the plan that Father, Son and Holy Spirit want me to experience?  I am questioning some of the things I have done in the name of Jesus.  I am getting a sense that a great deal of it is about “me” instead of “Him”.   But the thing that is different is one of my devotionals said He looks at my heart and it pleases Him that I want to please Him.  With that I must burst out in song:  Oh how He loves you and me.  Oh how He loves you and me.  He gave His life, what more could He do?  Oh how He loves you.  Oh how He loves me.  Oh how He loves you and me.

The Lenten Journey

Day 36:  You Can’t Out Give God!

Yesterday was a “deal breaker” between my man and me so I ran to Abba all day long for Focus, Love, Assurance.  I woke up singing It Is Well With My Soul but wanting things to always be “perfect” (still struggling there) I asked Abba the same ole same ole:  God how come I can’t get this right, how come I . . blaah blaah blaah. . pity pity party…Abba, what would you like today as my Lenten offering to you?  That’s when this song came up: 

Perfect People by Natalie Grant

Never let 'em see you when you're breaking Never let 'em see you when you fall
That's how we live and that's how we try Tell the world you've got it all together
Never let them see what's underneath Cover it up with a crooked smile
But it only lasts for a little while

[CHORUS:]
There's no such thing as perfect people There's no such thing as a perfect life
So come as you are, broken and scarred Lift up your heart and be amazed
And be changed by a perfect God

Suddenly it's like a weight is lifted When you hear the words that you are loved
He knows where you are and where you've been And you never have to go there again

[CHORUS]

Who lived and died to give new life To heal our imperfections
So look up and see love. Let grace be enough

Be changed by a perfect God  Be changed

“Baby doll, did you hear the Dove coo to wake you this morning?   Do you see the sun rising to brighten your day?  Look at the beauty of the ocean and Breathe.  Focus on Me.  Feel my arms around you.  Look into my eyes and see that you are the apple of My eye.  I love you.  It’s ok, you don’t have to be perfect for Me.  I see your heart and know that your desire is way above what you can do and be.  You get up every morning wanting to give Me something to prove your love.  I know you love Me.   Now, realize that this Lenten Journey is about you believing that:  (From Beth Moore’s  Believing God)

I, God, am who I say I am.

I can do what I say I can do.

You are who I say you are.

You can do what I say you can do.

Now BELIEVE It!

OK, I am taking a bath in Abba’s love, forgiveness (confessing my faults to the one that is affected, asking for forgiveness from my Abba, makeing restitution where needed and move on!)

1. La la la   It is well, with my soul, It is well, it is well, with my soul la la la.

“Accept and enjoy this new day Baby Doll!”   Thank You My Abba – I Love You.

The Lenten Journey

Day 35:  Focus Girl!

I must confess that after days of having people around, even if they are the ones I love more than anything in the world, I can wake up cranky and unfocused because although I exhibit great extravert qualities I am really an introvert and must have time by myself to restore and refuel.  As I woke up today whatever song was going off in my head disappeared because the news was on and I got unfocused.  My soul’s desire is that I hear no voice except my Abba until I am focused so I found myself going into my “negative” mode of. . . what if my house sells and a giant hurricane comes… what if my house doesn’t sell and I never have my “stuff”…what if I never get the relationships in my life the way I want them to…what if my man and I never really understand each other (like that can really happen as we are opposites)…what if I never………..  Oh my, that doesn’t create peace and tranquility.  I ran to Abba and asked what I should do.  I  heard the clear word “Focus”.  I asked myself if that was His voice and can you believe, as much as I dislike TV, the world Focus boomed out?  OK, I’m on track – Focus Girl.  What do I focus on?  Well, first I focused on how I could make everything perfect and everybody get along perfectly (Hmmm I do believe I have  a “Jesus complex” this morning – like I could really accomplish that).  Believe it or not,  I even bought into that sneaky snake lie and bite the apple before I knew what I was doing.  I tried to help my man be perfect!  Now how many times am I going to believe that lie and “go for it?”  After the day began in a real “stew” I rewound or went for a “redo”.  Abba, I didn’t get that one right so I will sit my little butte down and Listen.  Yep – In Quietness and Trust is your strength!  Oh Abba, how many days, how many times am I going to have to repeat that verse before it sinks into my spirit and brain?  Ok, one more time…In Quietness and Trust is Your Strength. . . 35 Days of Requests from Abba and all of the requests are about morphing me into His Gal.  Now focus… I am a soldier in His Army to accomplish His purposes, bring honor to Him and Enjoy Him Forever!!  Yes Sir!  FOCUS!!!

The Lenten Journey

Day 33:  Accept My Peace

"The Peace that Jesus Gives"

Like the sunshine after rain, Like a rest that follows pain,
Like a hope returned again, Is the peace that Jesus gives.

Refrain
Oh, the peace that Jesus gives never dies; it always lives.
Like the music of a psalm, like a glad, eternal calm,
Is the peace that Jesus gives, Is the peace that Jesus gives.

Like the soft, refreshing dew, like a rosy daybreak new,
Like a friendship tender, true, Is the peace that Jesus gives.

Like a river deep and long, with its current ceaseless, strong,
Like the cadence of a song, Is the peace that Jesus gives.- Haldor Lillenas, 1885-1959

I woke up and wanted to be focused - but I might add I am agitated this morning.  One of my old friends is becoming totally incapacitated by Lou Gehrig’s disease;  another of my new friends father was re-birthed into heaven yesterday; a fellow believer is causing havoc in life, and my Daddy is in my home for several days and is eaten up with “self” and “aging”.  He also is eaten up with GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) which I inherited.   Watching him be an old, self absorbed person is more frightening than dealing with the issues that I have considered “major” in my life (mastectomy, depression, raising teenagers, having my marriage be an example of Christ and His bride, etc.)  I realize as I watch him that I have this inward dialogue (maybe more like panic) going on with God asking that He please help me remain a "gentle and quiet" woman.  God has blessed me this Lenten season by requesting that I give Him the things I don’t need to “mess” with and accept the Gifts that produce Abundant Life.  So, again this morning, I am “dealing”.  Dealing with the things I have no control over, things I can’t change, things that cause anxiety if I allow my mind to go to those “mind fields”.    Focusing on my Abba, I heard Him say:  “Breathe Baby doll, regain focus”!  Abba what do you want me to focus on?  That’s when I heard my instructions:  

Isaiah 40:31   But those who wait upon God get fresh strength.  They spread their wings and soar like eagles, they run and don't get tired,  they walk and don't lag behind.  (The Message) - (Or the King James version)   But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

Yes Breathe – great gulps of God’s word.  Refocus my brain – do not worry, be anxious, fear, judge, condemn, act snitty, or dare I say bitchy?  But spread those wings Pattigail and focus on Abba; Listen to Abba; meditate on Abba’s Word and . . . la la la The things of earth shall grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace. La la la  

Again, I am undone that I began my Lenten Journey to prove I could “give up” something for Abba and He has asked me to accept the things that blow this blond, senior citizen brain – like  Watch Me Soar!!!

The Lenten Journey

Day 32:  Dream Without Boundaries

This morning I woke up with the thought of having a Dream – a God Sized Dream - and then the thought:  Will I allow it to happen?  I have had dreams through the years, but being a “Pleaser” I allow myself to figure out how my dreams will affect others and then I sabotage  the outcome, but then want to blame them.  

I long to be a strong woman and accomplish God's purpose for my life and not be "Chicken Little".  I am always amazed when a woman is strong enough to follow her “gut” and accomplish something or do things no one thought she could.

OK, once I get the idea, I ask if it is God or Pat.  Today being Sunday, I went to Chapel and a Quaker minister led us in worship.  The reason I mentioned this is because Quakers stop during the service for times of quiet to reflect on what has been sung or said and to meditate or hear from God.   We visisted the story of Zacchaeus , we explored what it means to be a sinner as that is what the "religious" people called him.  Jesus didn’t deny this but His presence caused Zac to repent – change his mind about his life – and realize that he was Lost – which was explained as “not knowing where you are” (don’t you just love it).  The opposite of lost is found – called back to God, restored to our place as beloved -  or to get back on the pilgrimage!  (I have been to Israel on a Pilgrimage so I understand that differently now)

At the end of the service we were asked to Listen to what God was saying to us.  My thoughts were directed to:  STOP the direction you are going.  I God want to spend time alone with you and you can't have a God Dream unless you give me, God, your calendar.  It was then that I realized that this was God's request today - Alone with Him.  No frantic trying to work it into my schedule, just check in with Him and OBEY.   Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the thought of God longing to have my undivided attention and for me to be content being with Him - alone.   The thought of the Potter’s House came up and the longing to respond and be alone with God almost overwhelmed me.  From habit my first thought was how I could work this out!  I heard the quiet voice –after you take your daughter and family back to Asheville after Easter – come spend time with Me.  Oh my will I look at my calendar and try to “juggle” or will I say “Yes Abba”?  Oh my soul is giddy that God wants o spend time with me - alone.  God Dreams. . .Yes Yes Yes

The Lenten Journey

Day 31:  Let Your Parents See Me!

Oh Abba, I heard your quiet voice this morning.  My mother and daddy are here at the beach with me.  We are celebrating their Sixty Fifth Wedding Anniversary.  Amazing – I still have both of them at 88 and 82!  But things are changing.  K Larry and I are the strong ones, the drivers, the ones that look out for their safety.  My Abba wants me to Serve them in love today.  Now that is a simple statement but sometimes it is a little hard when mother wants me to be her 5 year old and tell me everything to do, how to do it and when to do it.  Daddy lives in his own universe that revolves around him, his wants, needs and great aggravation at his failing body.  He fell up the steps coming in yesterday trying to “be the man and help”.  That was when I got a dose of reality that things are really changing.  The verse that popped up in my head was where Jesus was talking to the “religious guys” and they were saying they didn’t have time to mess with their parents because they were devoting their time and money to “God Work”.   In the past, after a few days of “dealing” I can get rather “FINE = Finicky Irritable Nasty Eccentric (me focused and what I’m having to put up with).  Oh this morning Abba said Serve them with lots of love, extravagant love, consideration for their age, and a heart that loves and honors them with NO Resentments.  And then the verse that jumped in my head was Isaiah 30:15:  In quietness and trust is your strength.  I called my man in and explained the gift my Abba wants today.  I asked him if he would help me = being patient, overlooking lack of consideration because daddy’s focus is on himself and mother’s focus is on helping.  Oh my goodness – the Everybody Loves Raymond TV shows just popped up.  Tee Hee Hee!   Ok, a good sense of humor, a thankful heart, and lots of love are getting ready to be dispensed today.  How can I say that?  Because II Peter 1:3 says His divine power has given to me all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of Him who called us by glory and virtue, by which have been given to us exceedingly great and precious promises, that through these I may be a partaker of the divine nature! -    Or my translation:  You got everything you need baby doll - not because of you but because of Jesus - so get with it!

Let me put on my little servant hat -the mind of Christ – as I am reminded that one of the last things Jesus said was “John, look out after mom” and watch to see the effect of generous, outrageous, God size Love.

The Lenten Journey

Day 31:  Heart Surgery

Today I reread the book of Romans that I have written to help me understand better the magnitude of what Jesus Christ has done for me.   Abba stopped me again at Romans 6 – which is where He stopped me on Day 28:

Where I dealt with how I AM living in Graceland, today the emphasis is on the last sentence. 

 I am now living in the Freedom of God.  As I listen to my new Master, the freedom gets bigger and SURPRISE - I have a whole, healed, put together LIFE! 

 
It doesn’t say I will get, I might get or I hope I get but I HAVE a whole,  healed, put together Life because of Jesus Christ.  Does this FACT change my situation?  No!  Does it change other people?  No!  Well, excuse me, what does it do?  I get to choose to allow that new heart that I received to direct my life.  I believe, like Abraham and Sarah that the situation is as God says.  Do I realize that it is for “now” not later?  I am slightly overwhelmed but as I went through the day, when things would not be as I wanted, I would consciously turn to my Abba and ask my Master:  How do I handle this?  Oh my, Freedom!!!  I am not responsible for how others act.  I do not have to let their decisions cause me to act less than who I am.  I can choose to be like Abraham and Sarah and realize that I have something new inside of me and I can live  in a whole, healed, put together way.  It is mind boggling and takes faith like Abe and Sarah to believe that what God says is true.  Hummmmm do you hear it?  Lub dub lub  dub lub dub lub dub

The Bible Says It.  I Believe It.  But Help me to believe it again tomorrow!  My new heart assures me that I have a whole healed, put together life!  Amen