The Lenten Journey

Day 23:  Confession Day

I am dealing today!   You know dealing as in the sense of always wanting to be charging forward.  I jump out of bed, grab my cup of coffee and am on the lookout for what the “God Assignment / Adventure” is going to be.  Anxiety sometimes plagues me as I deal with GAD (inherited –won’t go away-must be dealt with-prayers for it to leave are responded to with:  “And He said unto me, My  grace is sufficient for you:  for My strength is made perfect in weakness.  II Corinthians 12:9)  My verses for this year are Isaiah 30:15 – In quietness and trust is your strength and Psalm 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God.  Well I have quoted these verses over and over and have been so proud of myself for staying focused.  However, today – and if I am truthful, for quite a few days – God has been sending me signals that I’m not getting it and He wants me to give Him the gift of being Quiet and Still.  I wrote in my journal this morning:  Lord, I am struggling right now.  Busyness assuages the yearning in my heart to think I am close to you, but you know how I deal with wanting to be “important for You.”  You also know that in my poor little blond brain being quiet and still equals nothing  .  OK, Here is my hand.  You are going to have to hold me real tight for me to be still.  Oh my, I got still for a moment going “Duh, this is not natural and.   .   .  .  .  .

 Oh Oh Oh, I just got the picture of Spring Cleaning -  I have been doing that for two weeks and as I clean out the clutter and cobwebs, things are roomier and smell so good.  That’s what You are doing.  Sweeping Me clean of Busyness so I will be clutter free and have a sweet aroma. 

Hmm, I guess I have to be Still for Him to Create a Clean Heart in Me and give Him what He is requesting of me today. Thank goodness Jesus is in heaven interceding for me - so there might be Victory!

The Lenten Journey

Day 22:  Love Me

My Jesus, I Love Thee

Words: William R. Featherston, 1864

Music: “Gordon,” Adoniram J. Gordon, 1876

My Jesus, I love thee, I know thou art mine; for thee all the follies of sin I resign. 

My gracious Redeemer, my Savior art thou; if ever I loved thee, my Jesus, 'tis now. 

I love thee because thou hast first loved me, and purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree; I love thee for wearing the thorns on thy brow; if ever I loved thee, my Jesus, 'tis now. 

In mansions of glory and endless delight;  I'll ever adore thee in heaven so bright; I'll sing with the glittering crown on my brow; if ever I loved thee, my Jesus, 'tis now. 

Uh oh, I’m feeling like Peter this morning!  La la la Do you love ME la la la?  I want to do like Peter and say “of course, you know I love you”!  But I sense He is asking a deeper question.  Do you love me enough to Trust Me?  Do your actions show You Trust Me?

 What does Trusting Him really mean?   If I trusted Him would I get in a twit so quickly when something I don’t expect happens?  Do I trust that He is really watching over me and those I love?  Do I trust that He is really in control of my life?  The scripture “If You Love Me – You Will Keep My Commandments – rings in my heart.  Words like do not fear, do not let the sun go down without dealing with anger, feed my sheep,  be still and know that I am God, do not be anxious ect. etc. 

Oh my my, there is a big pot of emotions boiling around inside me.  Do I really BELIEVE that God is who He says He is and that He will do what He says He will do.  For today, He is asking me to move the love relationship deeper; to trust Him more; to not play any games with myself and “in everything" Trust Him to be my God.  He whispers: "When you really Love someone, you Trust them.  I am asking you to Love me enought to Trust Me".

The Lenten Journey

Day 21:  Only Trust Him 

Come, every soul by sin oppressed; There’s mercy with the Lord, And He will surely give you rest By trusting in His Word.

Refrain - Only trust Him, only trust Him,
Only trust Him now; He will save you, He will save you, He will save you now.(John Stockton – 1889)

Day 21, I am halfway through the Lenten Journey and I’m just beginning to see the path He’s leading me on.  What good does it do if, like the Pharisees, I keep my nose stuck in the Bible but my life is not morphing into His likeness?   In John 5, The Message lends itself to this thought:  OK, Pattigail, you study your Bible but are you taking the Message seriously?  Is what You’re reading pointing you to Jesus and His agenda?  Or, are you trying to figure things out so you can read the Bible and then check off your spiritual job for the day?  Like the Pharisees, are you  jockeying for positions with others or ranking your rivals and ignoring God”?  I believe Abba is showing me that I need to deal with the tendencies of the Pharisees that reside in me which are to make it about  self and what I do instead of just showing up daily and asking:  What’s next Abba.  I received this email and was instructed to read it twice daily.

AN INTIMATE MESSAGE FROM GOD TO YOU

My Child……. You may not know me, but I know everything about you. Psalm 139:1.  I know when you sit down and when you rise up. Psalm 139:2 I am familiar with all your ways. Psalm 139:3 Even the very hairs on your head are numbered. Matthew 10:29-31 For you were made in my image. Genesis 1:27 In me you live and move and have your being.  Acts 17:28 For you are my offspring.  Acts 17:28 I knew you even before you were conceived Jeremiah 1:4-5 I chose you when I planned creation. Ephesians 1:11-12  You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book.  Psalm 139:15-16-I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live  Acts 17:26  You are fearfully and wonderfully made.  Psalm 139:14  I knit you together in your mother’s womb.  Psalm 139:13 And brought you forth on the day you were born. Psalm 71:6 I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me.  John 8:41-44 I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love  1John 4:16  And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.  1 John 3:1 Simply because you are my child and I am your Father. 1 John 3:1 I offer you more than your earthly father ever could. Matthew 7:11 For I am the perfect father. Matthew 5:38: Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand James 1:17 For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.  Matthew 6:31-33 My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.  Jeremiah.29:11 Because I love you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3: My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.  Psalms 139:1.7-18  And I rejoice over you with singing.  Zephaniah 3:17. I will never stop doing good to you.  Jeremiah 32:40 For you are my treasured possession  Exodus 19:5 I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul.  Jeremiah 32:41 And I want to show you great and marvelous things.  Jeremiah 33:3 If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. Deuteronomy 4:29 Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart Psalm37:4 For it is I who gave you those desires.  Philippians 2:13 I am able to do more for you that you could possibly imagine. Ephesians 3:20 For I am your greatest encourager .   2 Thessalonians 2:16-17 I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles.  2 Corinthians 1:3-4 When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you Psalm 34 18.  As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11 One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.  Revelation 21:3-4  And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.  Revelation 21:34 I am your Father, and l love you even as I love my son, Jesus  John 17:23  For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.   John 17:26  He is the exact representation of my being.  Hebrews 1:3  He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you.  Romans 8:31  And to tell you that I am not counting your sins. 2 Corinthians 5:18-19  Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.   2 Corinthians 5:18-19 His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you.   1John 4:10  I gave up everything  I loved that I might gain your love.  Romans 8:31-32  If you receive the gift of my son Jesus you receive me.  1 John 2:23  And nothing will ever separate you from my love again. Romans 8:38-39  Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.  Luke 15:7. I have always been Father and will always be Father. Ephesians 3:14-15  My question is...Will you be my child? John1:12-13I am waiting for you. Luke 15:11-32.

Love, Your Father - Almighty God

Back to the song for the day:  Only Trust Him.  I will receive answers, rest and morphing by Trusting In His Word - not just reading it.  Refocus – my gift for today - Believe the Good News Baby Doll!

The Lenten Journey

Day 20:   Watch for Instructions

Today started rather early and I was on the go from the moment my feet hit the floor.  However as I awoke I was on the lookout for Abba's request or instructions.  As I had many things that kept me going at mach speed today, I was constantly aware that I had not heard anything yet.  Later in the day when there was a rather big misunderstanding between my man and me - I heard His voice.  "Be Still, just listen, and give him understanding and your attention."  My thought was that I would much rather air my side of the situation.  Instead I listened, shared briefly and then did everything I could to create a happy memory day.  Now why would I rather be "right" (or not) or make sure my side was presented well when I could be a peace maker and not waste precious time proving my point of view.  

Matthew 5:9 - Blessed  are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God. 

 Oh what a sweet hug that was.  I was remembering this scripture wrong and thought that peacemakers were the ones that inherited the earth but I   AM   A  CHILD   OF  GOD. 

By the way - did anybody notice I didn't eat chocolate today?  I don't think anybody even cared - including Abba

The Lenten Journey

Day 19: Love Yourself !!

Just writing those words sent my “little self” into a hyper mode.  Why can I not get passed “I must be doing something to merit God’s Love.”  Do my children look at me and say:  “Let me see, how may I sacrifice, how much penance must I do to get mom to notice, love and approve of me?”   I believe this is the mindset that causes me to  battle "living in the moment".   In preparing   for a couple’s seminar on “The Final Game Plan” – scoring  the final goal or touchdown as I “wing my way to heaven” -  I took a personality profile test and it nailed me.  It showed my really strong areas and my really weak areas.  I am always shocked when a computer can “nail me.”   Why would my first response be to look at the things I wish were different and lament that “I’m not perfect” versus looking at my strong points and celebrating that I am fearfully and wonderfully made?  After yesterday’s writing , why did I get up and my first thought for this Lenten Journey was “Abba, what shall I give up today?”  Would you like for me to give up -------------. Oh poopey poopey!   It was then that I sensed Him saying to me – just like I would say to my precious grand children:   Baby Doll, Look at Me – la la la Turn my eyes upon Jesus.  Look full in His wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace - la  la la.  As I turned my eyes upward My Abba said:  "Good Morning precious, I love you.  Stop trying to prove you deserve my love.  I chose to love you because you are my child.  I formed you, knit you together and put you where you would grow in the ways you don’t understand but that build character.  OK?  I want you to be on the lookout today for My smile and I want you to  see yourself as I see you.  If you don’t how to love you, how can you love others?  The second great commandment is:  Love others as you love yourself.  For today, give Me- Abba,  the gift of Believing what I say about you and do not listen to any “sneaky snake voices” in your head.  Spread the news to others that they are special and when they feel unworthy or depressed they may be  listening to the wrong voice.  You’re mine Baby doll, now live like you believe that today!"  Oh I am reminded of my favorite pictures of my first two grandchildren, holding them and looking down in delight of them just being mine.

Numbers 6:  God bless you and keep you,  God smile on you and gift you,  God look you full in the face and make you prosper.  (The Message)



The Lenten Journey

Day 18:  Stop having a Negative Attitude – about God

Aauuuggghhh – I get up each morning with my poor brain scurrying and hurrying for God focus.  God graciously gave me the gift of a song as I wake up many years ago.   It’s like “instant” radio as I come to consciousness.  This morning’s  song – This is the Day, This is the Day that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made.  I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in it, and be glad in it . . . la la la .   As my little brain is singing away – and at the same time, as I always multitask, I’m going what is Abba wanting as my  Lenten Gift to Him  today?  Oh, what is Abba going to ask me to give up today so I can “prove” I love Him!  I begin to get that “sick” spiritual feeling – like I had taken a bite out of a “rotten apple!”  Uh Oh, what’s up?  Quieting down and following the thought pattern emerging in my head, I began to allow the Spirit to lead me.  I sensed that my Abba was sad with my thoughts and started looking at pictures of Jesus.  The Picture that grabbed me:

 I sensed Him looking at me and asking:  “You think I did this  so you could give up something every day to prove you deserve My love?”Are we into the 18^th day of the Adventure and you haven’t recognized that I am showing you “The Gift!”  Back to Catechism One:  The chief end of (wo)man is to Glorify God and Enjoy Him Forever!  My mind becomes a whirlwind of thoughts. 

Abba is asking me to give up the gigantic mess of negative thoughts concerning Him and His will for my life that are swirling around in my mind.  To put a beautiful bow on this gift today, He points me to God Calling – March 16:

I am with you to guide you and help you.  Unseen forces are controlling your destiny.  Your petty fears are groundless.  What of a man walking through a glorious glade who fretted because ahead there lay a river and he might not be able to cross it, when all the time, that river was spanned by a bridge?  And what if that man had a friend who knew the way – had planned it – and assured him that at no part of the journey would any unforeseen contingency arise, and that all was well?  So leave your foolish fears, and follow Me, you Guide, and determinedly refuse to consider the problems of tomorrow.  My message to you, trust, and wait.

Oh, look what I see!!

Thank You . . .  This is the Day, This is Day that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made - - - I will rejoice and take the Gift(s) today and just say “Thank You, Abba!”

The Lenten Journey

Day 17:  Acknowledge Answered Prayer

Sitting, minding my own business at a fund raiser last night, someone walked up to the table and asked if my husband or I would bless the meal.  My man accepted this request.  After the food was blessed and as we were eating – oh my, I recognized My Abba was speaking to me.  I pulled into my “sacred space” to check it out and lo and behold His voice was softly, sweetly saying:  “Remember that young woman that pray pray prayed for a “God Man?”  I was stunned, right there in the middle of a room full of people.  I sensed my Abba with His arms crossed, smiling down at me and asking “What do you think of this answered prayer?”  Oh my heart exploded within me.  My reply:  “Oh man, all the ‘requirements’ I gave you were peanuts compared to what you have given me.”  My heart was broken and soared at the same time.  Ephesians 3:20-21 was needing to be dealt with:  Now to  Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or  imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.

During this Lenten Adventure, I am more tuned in to the spiritual and how it is always there but I miss it daily because of the busyness of life and the monster of “Hurry”   My little brain went into overdrive searching through memories of all the times God has graciously answered my prayers and I have given Him a superficial “Thank You” and hurried on with my next request. 

As I woke up this morning and asked what His Lenten request is for today, the picture of last night flashed in my mind.   He wants me to give Him the Gratitude He deserves for all the prayers He has answered.  I will start my list with:

1.    A “God Man” to be my life partner, my friend, my confidant and surprise – a helper!  Hmm, I thought I was designated “helper” But God just blows me away! He has graciously given me someone to "help" me be the person He created me to be: A Gracious, Thankful Woman!  (A little voice said:  hmmm, wonder what your man prayed for?)