The Lenten Journey

Day 20:   Watch for Instructions

Today started rather early and I was on the go from the moment my feet hit the floor.  However as I awoke I was on the lookout for Abba's request or instructions.  As I had many things that kept me going at mach speed today, I was constantly aware that I had not heard anything yet.  Later in the day when there was a rather big misunderstanding between my man and me - I heard His voice.  "Be Still, just listen, and give him understanding and your attention."  My thought was that I would much rather air my side of the situation.  Instead I listened, shared briefly and then did everything I could to create a happy memory day.  Now why would I rather be "right" (or not) or make sure my side was presented well when I could be a peace maker and not waste precious time proving my point of view.  

Matthew 5:9 - Blessed  are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God. 

 Oh what a sweet hug that was.  I was remembering this scripture wrong and thought that peacemakers were the ones that inherited the earth but I   AM   A  CHILD   OF  GOD. 

By the way - did anybody notice I didn't eat chocolate today?  I don't think anybody even cared - including Abba

The Lenten Journey

Day 19: Love Yourself !!

Just writing those words sent my “little self” into a hyper mode.  Why can I not get passed “I must be doing something to merit God’s Love.”  Do my children look at me and say:  “Let me see, how may I sacrifice, how much penance must I do to get mom to notice, love and approve of me?”   I believe this is the mindset that causes me to  battle "living in the moment".   In preparing   for a couple’s seminar on “The Final Game Plan” – scoring  the final goal or touchdown as I “wing my way to heaven” -  I took a personality profile test and it nailed me.  It showed my really strong areas and my really weak areas.  I am always shocked when a computer can “nail me.”   Why would my first response be to look at the things I wish were different and lament that “I’m not perfect” versus looking at my strong points and celebrating that I am fearfully and wonderfully made?  After yesterday’s writing , why did I get up and my first thought for this Lenten Journey was “Abba, what shall I give up today?”  Would you like for me to give up -------------. Oh poopey poopey!   It was then that I sensed Him saying to me – just like I would say to my precious grand children:   Baby Doll, Look at Me – la la la Turn my eyes upon Jesus.  Look full in His wonderful face.  And the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace - la  la la.  As I turned my eyes upward My Abba said:  "Good Morning precious, I love you.  Stop trying to prove you deserve my love.  I chose to love you because you are my child.  I formed you, knit you together and put you where you would grow in the ways you don’t understand but that build character.  OK?  I want you to be on the lookout today for My smile and I want you to  see yourself as I see you.  If you don’t how to love you, how can you love others?  The second great commandment is:  Love others as you love yourself.  For today, give Me- Abba,  the gift of Believing what I say about you and do not listen to any “sneaky snake voices” in your head.  Spread the news to others that they are special and when they feel unworthy or depressed they may be  listening to the wrong voice.  You’re mine Baby doll, now live like you believe that today!"  Oh I am reminded of my favorite pictures of my first two grandchildren, holding them and looking down in delight of them just being mine.

Numbers 6:  God bless you and keep you,  God smile on you and gift you,  God look you full in the face and make you prosper.  (The Message)



The Lenten Journey

Day 18:  Stop having a Negative Attitude – about God

Aauuuggghhh – I get up each morning with my poor brain scurrying and hurrying for God focus.  God graciously gave me the gift of a song as I wake up many years ago.   It’s like “instant” radio as I come to consciousness.  This morning’s  song – This is the Day, This is the Day that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made.  I will rejoice, I will rejoice and be glad in it, and be glad in it . . . la la la .   As my little brain is singing away – and at the same time, as I always multitask, I’m going what is Abba wanting as my  Lenten Gift to Him  today?  Oh, what is Abba going to ask me to give up today so I can “prove” I love Him!  I begin to get that “sick” spiritual feeling – like I had taken a bite out of a “rotten apple!”  Uh Oh, what’s up?  Quieting down and following the thought pattern emerging in my head, I began to allow the Spirit to lead me.  I sensed that my Abba was sad with my thoughts and started looking at pictures of Jesus.  The Picture that grabbed me:

 I sensed Him looking at me and asking:  “You think I did this  so you could give up something every day to prove you deserve My love?”Are we into the 18^th day of the Adventure and you haven’t recognized that I am showing you “The Gift!”  Back to Catechism One:  The chief end of (wo)man is to Glorify God and Enjoy Him Forever!  My mind becomes a whirlwind of thoughts. 

Abba is asking me to give up the gigantic mess of negative thoughts concerning Him and His will for my life that are swirling around in my mind.  To put a beautiful bow on this gift today, He points me to God Calling – March 16:

I am with you to guide you and help you.  Unseen forces are controlling your destiny.  Your petty fears are groundless.  What of a man walking through a glorious glade who fretted because ahead there lay a river and he might not be able to cross it, when all the time, that river was spanned by a bridge?  And what if that man had a friend who knew the way – had planned it – and assured him that at no part of the journey would any unforeseen contingency arise, and that all was well?  So leave your foolish fears, and follow Me, you Guide, and determinedly refuse to consider the problems of tomorrow.  My message to you, trust, and wait.

Oh, look what I see!!

Thank You . . .  This is the Day, This is Day that the Lord has made, that the Lord has made - - - I will rejoice and take the Gift(s) today and just say “Thank You, Abba!”

The Lenten Journey

Day 17:  Acknowledge Answered Prayer

Sitting, minding my own business at a fund raiser last night, someone walked up to the table and asked if my husband or I would bless the meal.  My man accepted this request.  After the food was blessed and as we were eating – oh my, I recognized My Abba was speaking to me.  I pulled into my “sacred space” to check it out and lo and behold His voice was softly, sweetly saying:  “Remember that young woman that pray pray prayed for a “God Man?”  I was stunned, right there in the middle of a room full of people.  I sensed my Abba with His arms crossed, smiling down at me and asking “What do you think of this answered prayer?”  Oh my heart exploded within me.  My reply:  “Oh man, all the ‘requirements’ I gave you were peanuts compared to what you have given me.”  My heart was broken and soared at the same time.  Ephesians 3:20-21 was needing to be dealt with:  Now to  Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or  imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever! Amen.

During this Lenten Adventure, I am more tuned in to the spiritual and how it is always there but I miss it daily because of the busyness of life and the monster of “Hurry”   My little brain went into overdrive searching through memories of all the times God has graciously answered my prayers and I have given Him a superficial “Thank You” and hurried on with my next request. 

As I woke up this morning and asked what His Lenten request is for today, the picture of last night flashed in my mind.   He wants me to give Him the Gratitude He deserves for all the prayers He has answered.  I will start my list with:

1.    A “God Man” to be my life partner, my friend, my confidant and surprise – a helper!  Hmm, I thought I was designated “helper” But God just blows me away! He has graciously given me someone to "help" me be the person He created me to be: A Gracious, Thankful Woman!  (A little voice said:  hmmm, wonder what your man prayed for?)   

The Lenten Journey

Day 16:   Abba, Can we Laugh Today?

Life has been hard for the last while.  I have had bouts of sickness from helping, doing, going, and leading.  After listening to my Abba yesterday, hearing Him say He wanted me to give Him the gift of TRUST, I asked Him if I could choose the gift I wanted to give Him today and – dumm dumm de dumm dum:  could it be  Laughter.  A picture of another blogger appeared on my screen and there was the face of Lucille Ball – my “wanna be”.  I have always aspired to be a “Smart Lucy” as the joy of my young life was watching I Love Lucy and laughing.  Plus, Proverbs 17:22 says that Laughter is Good Medicine.    When I saw Lucy's face I looked up and asked God –“Tomorrow may I give you Laughter?” 

Oh my antennae were up this morning when I got out of bed.  Every time I would try to talk with my man yesterday about the journey I was on, lo and behold tears would jump out of my eyes.  So, I’m ready to laugh – is that ok God, was my question.  I heard His voice.  TRUST!  I want you to TRUST me.  Excuse me Sir, didn’t we do that one yesterday?  TRUST! 

I’m listening Abba.  I’m quiet Abba.  My heart is waiting to hear.  It was then I sensed that stiring in my spirit of needing to deal with: – Am I really listening?    He is showing me that I really do not TRUST  Him unless things go as I want them.  I really do not TRUST that He is as good as He says He is.  I do not TRUST that He will supply all my needs.  I do not TRUST that He can handle any situation without me “mucking” in it. 

Ah Ha - the secret:  if I want to throw my head back and laugh, I must TRUST  Him.   He has already given me the picture of Him laughing on Day 10.  Oh my, maybe I will get it today.  It is when I TRUST Him that the burdens will not be my focal point.  Then I can join Him, throw back my head and LAUGH.   Only Trust Him, Only Trust Him, Only Trust Him Now!  He will save me from missing the joy of Laughing.

The Lenten Journey

Day 15:  Trust Me

I woke up singing Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redman

Blessed Be Your Name In the land that is plentiful Where Your streams of abundance flow Blessed be Your name

Blessed Be Your name When I'm found in the desert place Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed Be Your name

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say Blessed be the name of the Lord  Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord 

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name When the sun's shining down on me When the world's 'all as it should be' Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name On the road marked with suffering Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out I'll turn back to praise When the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord Blessed be Your name Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away You give and take away My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name

God has me thinking about when I choose to Praise Him and Trust Him.   I know in my heart it is generally on the days when everything is going like I want it.  Oh, I want to Trust Him when I have no understanding of what is going on.  I want to Trust Him to be all He says He is.  I want to Trust that He can and will do all He says He will do.  
The next step in my Lenten Journey is to know that I can’t trust myself – I’m like Peter in that I think I will stand strong but Jesus knows my weaknesses and my fears.  He is asking me to TRUST HIM in EVERYTHING!
This is my prayer:

The Lenten Journey

Day 14:  Accept Peace

OK, what is going on?  In this “Lenten Sacrifice” I thought I was going to be asked to give up something and concentrating on keeping my little hand open where God would take away “bad” stuff – food, drink – yes the “peanuts of life.”  However, what He is doing is asking me to grasp with my little hand all the good things He has provided!   Now, isn’t that just like God?  I want to live in the mentality of “Oh look at me, I am so spiritual that I gave up something for God” versus “Oh look at God, He is so wonderful He just keeps piling it on!”

Well, He did take another thing away yesterday -  Another “ministry” that I participate in.  I can hardly believe He has removed two “ministry” areas from my life in less than 4 days?  Oh my, I feel like He is striping me of what I perceive gives me identity.  Who am I if I don’t teach?  Who am I if I don’t lead?  Who am I if I don’t move with the spiritual movers and shakers?  Who am I?  My heart is about to burst because He is saying “YOU   ARE  MINE.  I have showered you with gifts and you have taken them but are not enjoying them."  (Side note:  that’s just like my mom and dad – I give them wonderful things and they put them in a drawer to save for special times – selah).   He is giving understanding of what His Lenten request is for me today:  "Baby doll, I want you to enjoy PEACE" – oh my here comes an acronym –

P  ractice

E  njoying

A  ssuredly

C  hrist’s

E  xtravagance

Oh my WORD – excitement is surging through my veins as I accept His gifts.   Oh I just have to sing:

My Jesus, I love Thee, I know Thou art mine;
For Thee, all the follies of sin I resign;
My gracious Redeemer, My Savior art Thou;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus, 'tis now.

I love Thee because Thou hast first loved me,
And purchased my pardon on Calvary's tree;
I love Thee for wearing the thorns on Thy brow;
If ever I loved Thee, my Jesus 'tis now.[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/r/religious_music/my_jesus_i_love_thee.html ]